Gravity Falls: Ford x reader
by MistrustfulJay
Summary: How to summon a demon girlfriend with Stanford Pines and co. -eventual smut- As said in title: Ford x Maia.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

"Mabel share the popcorn!" Dipper sighed, trying to wrench the bowl away from his brightly dressed sister.

"Mmph- bff shbhh-" She responded.

"What?"

Mabel swallowed and turned to her brother.

"I said, I was trying to break the record for most popcorn shoved into a girl's mouth in under 30 seconds without getting tangled in her braces!" She said, puffing out her chest and spilling the popcorn bowl rested on her lap.

Dipper rolled his eyes.

"That is not what you said and that is not a real record."

"Oh yeah wel-"

"Can it you two! Ducktective is gonna be on any second." Interrupted Grunkle Stan in an irritated tone.

The two pines children settled down and turned towards the television set.

"I've got more snacks duuudes!" Cried Soos, dramatically appearing in the doorway. The kids cheered and reached for the multi-coloured candies the larger man had bought them.

"Is this a gummy-worm wrapped in a fruit roll-up and covered in m&m's?" Mabel asked in a hushed whisper.

"And dusted with popping candy." Soos said, crossing his arms and nodding his head.

"You're the man Soos!" Dipper cried and dug in.

"I'M GOING TO EAT THIS UNTIL I BLACK OUT!" Mabel exclaimed, joining her brother.

Stan watched with a faint smile on his face.

"God I am the best at parenting, absolutely nothing could go wron-"

"WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!" Screamed Ford, sprinting into the room waving his arms.

"whAT?! ABANDON THE CRIPPLED RUN FOR THE WINDOWS!" Bellowed Stan as he moved to grab his baseball bat.

"Wait no Stan calm down I just needed everyone's attention." Ford said coolly.

"So… we're not going to die?" Mabel asked, lowering the pair of bedazzled craft scissors she'd grabbed in the panic.

"Well technically we're all going to die Mabel." Ford said.

"Okay thanks Ford did you come here to drop painful truth bombs or did you actually want something?" Stan asked gruffly.

Ford opened his mouth to respond.

"And could you hurry it up? You're blocking the TV." Stan interjected.

Ford glared at him, pushed his glasses up and pulled out a scroll.

"As you all know, Bill will stop at nothing to break into our realm and bring chaos and havoc."

" _Evil Dorito…"_ Soos whispered under his breath.

"For many years I believed him to have no weakness, but the other week whilst browsing through my research I came across something I had missed before. A rumour. It was a lead; it was tiny but I knew if it was true it could change the game. We could truly defend ourselves against Bill."

"What was the rumour!" Mabel practically screamed, her eyes were wide from perhaps one to many sugar filled snacks.

"Well Mabel, the rumour was that there was a scroll. On the scroll were the instructions to conjure something from the nightmare realm that is Bill's home. It is said that whatever is conjured is Bill's greatest weakness. Something that could destroy worlds if set loose. The most dangerous thing to ever exist." Ford said, growing more excited as he spoke.

Dipper's eyes flicked to the scroll in his Great Uncle's hand.

"A-and that's it? You got the scroll?"

"Yes Dipper! I almost lost two fingers and had to sock wrestle with an ogre but I got it! We can stop Bill!"

Grunkle Stan stood up abruptly.

"Woah, woah, woah there. You just want to conjure that thing up? Were you even listening to your own words! That thing is dangerous! Even more dangerous than Bill!"

"Calm down Stan, from what I've gathered it's some kind of weapon, and a weapon is only dangerous when in the wrong hands! Once we harness it we'll stop Bill and send it right back. As long as we control it the world is completely safe." Ford said cheerfully.

Grunkle Stan crossed his arms.

"Well I don't want no conjuring in my house Ford."

"1. It's my house and 2. Fine, the spell only works if we do it outside anyway." Ford responded, marching out the door.

The pine family stared at the direction he left in for several seconds.

"Well I'm not just sitting here if there's a demon conjure whatever to watch." Yelled Mabel, exiting after him.

The other three paused for a moment before scrambling after her.

…

"…aaand done!" Ford declared, putting down the last marking on the ground in the forest.

"Here's the scroll Uncle Ford!" Said Dipper handing the mystical object to him.

"Brilliant Dipper. Then let us begin." Ford opened the scroll and began to chant.

The trees surrounding the family began to sway as a howling wind began to grow. The sky darkened as clouds covered the horizon.

The ground began to rumble and the creatures of the forest retreated. Rain started to fall and lightning crackled in the sky. Thunder rung out in the distance and a tree heaved over with a slow groan.

"Uh Poindexter… this is normal, right?" Stan asked nervously, holding his fez down and shivering from the wind.

Ford stopped his chanting.

"Yes. I think. Probably." Ford responded, raising his voice to heard above the now hurricane like wind.

"Is that it?" Asked Dipper, staring at the markings scrawled across the ground for any sign of change.

"Not yet, there's one more step." Ford said, taking out a knife. In one quick motion, he sliced the palm of his six-fingered hand and let a few drops of blood escape and drip onto the ground.

Mabel gasped and pulled out a sparkly band-aid and placing it on her Uncle's wound.

"There you go Uncle Ford!" Mabel said, surprisingly cheerful for a person in the middle of a supernatural storm.

"Thank you Mabe-" Ford was interrupted by another flash of lightning, directly in front of him. The family jumped back and Stan stepped in front of the kids.

"The greatest weapon to ever exist, the most dangerous thing in the goddamn nightmare realm! Absolutely fantastic idea bringing it here Ford! True genius!" Yelled Stan at his brother.

A circle on the ground rippled and shimmered, a burning light escaped it and momentarily blinded the family.

"It's a portal." Said Ford under his breath.

"Now remember! Whatever is coming out of there is more powerful than even Bill himself so stay back and be careful!"

Another flash and the markings on the ground began to spin.

Ford was knocked back and everything grew dark for a moment before the whole forest lit up like a bomb had been dropped. The author's ears began to ring and he covered his face with his arms.

 _It's about damn time._ Called a distance voice.

The wind died down and the rain slowly retreated, the sky opening up to the soft blue that was hidden.

Ford stood and wiped the ash and dirt from his clothes, a quick glance up showed him the rest of the family were doing the same, all were luckily uninjured.

A crater had been left on the ground. Ford stepped closer to examine. He peered down into the abyss to see…

… a girl.


	2. Chapter 2

You leaped from the elevated rock you were standing on and speared the attacking monster with your blade, carved from the rib bones of the last monster to attack you. You scowled as it let out a wounded howl and went limp.

You sighed and wiped the sweat off your brow, looking out across the blinding horizon. Seven suns rotated in the sky and a gradient of purple and red stained the atmosphere.

You despised the nightmare realm, every second out in the wasteland was a fight for survival, you had taught yourself to endure the constant monster attacks and harsh conditions, your body had become a honed killing machine. Your mind had become your greatest asset, outsmarting and annihilating your enemies. Your pretty face was useless out in the desert and you were losing the girl you used to be, you felt it every day.

You had to get back to your realm before you became a monster yourself.

The ground began to rumble, as in response, you grimaced and gripped your blade tighter. There were no breaks in the nightmare realm, only one obstacle after another forever and ever. You cautiously turned trying to figure out what was about to attack you when you felt the ground beneath you give out.

You felt your blade and your leathers burst into a blue flame that enveloped you.

You were falling, you could no longer feel the harsh light of the desert beating down upon you, but fresh, real rain.

Rain and wind from the dimension you used to call home.

You smiled.

 _It's about damn time._

…

Ford looked down on the girl. She was tanned, as if she'd spent a long time in the sun, her body was covered in scars and a large tattoo, that curled around her arm onto her back, Ford noticed it was very similar to the markings he himself had drawn on the ground. Despite that, her skin still looked smooth and even and **bare**. Ford immediately blushed. The girl was naked and he was just standing there ogling her. He took off his long trench-coat and rushed down to the girl, placing it on her.

"Uncle Ford? What happened?" Called the voice of Dipper and Ford looked up to see the family had approached.

"Yeah Uncle Ford wha- wait! Is that a girl?! Who's she?" Mabel questioned wildly, looking at the newly discovered person.

"I'm not sure… from the markings I'd say she's from the nightmare realm but… she's definitely human." Ford responded in a thoughtful tone, furrowing his brow in confusion.

"I thought we were summoning a weapon, not some girl!" Stan said, walking over to inspect the scene.

"Maybe **she** is the weapon?" Ford said, mostly to himself.

"Well how do we find out?" Responded Dipper.

"You could try asking." Said an unfamiliar voice.

Ford jumped back. It was the girl. She began to sit up, pulling on the coat properly and shivering. Ford gulped as he saw her face, bright eyes and soft lips.

"You can speak! Who are you?" Asked Dipper. Ford had questions too but he found that his voice had stopped working.

The girl studied them all with curiosity and then her eyes met Ford's and an easy smirk slipped onto her face.

"I am Y/N."

…

"Sugar?"

"Yes please." You responded politely as Ford handed you a cup of tea.

You sipped it awkwardly as the Pines stared at your shivering figure enveloped in the borrowed coat. You looked around their kitchen with interest. It had been a long time since you'd been 'inside'. It felt like a home.

"So… you're definitely from beyond the mindscape?" Asked Ford. You looked at him and cocked your head. His glasses were resting at the bridge of his nose and his hair still retained a windswept look from the storm earlier. He was cute, you decided.

"Well, Ford, I'm not 'from' there but that's where you pulled me from, yes." You replied nonchalantly.

"So where are you from then?" Asked the small one that you were pretty sure was called Dipper.

"Here. Well, not here exactly, but this realm." You answered. Ford began to mutter something to himself and he pulled out a notebook and began to scribble down something in it.

"Yes... yes that would make sense… that's why you were able to travel into this realm without taking a host body… because your mass is originally from here and the similar matter was magnetised…" He continued under his breath.

"But if you're not from the mindscape thing then how did you get there?" Asked Mabel. You looked at the girl and gave a sad smile.

"A demon named Bill visited me in my dreams. I was young and stupid and he tricked me into performing a ceremony that would make me crossover to his world. When I got there he declared me his Queen, his possession." You put the tea down on the table harshly and spied a crack form on the cup. _Breath Y/N_ You chided yourself.

"You were Bill's prisoner?" Pressed Ford.

"I was Bill's toy." You said, anger rising up in you as you felt the memories begin to surface. _No_ you said to yourself, pushing them down.

"So, what you belonged to him?" Asked Stan, crossing his arms in the doorway.

"I don't belong to anyone!" You yelled, standing up.

Stan raised his eyebrows at you and Ford stood up as well.

"Sorry." You said quickly, taking a breath.

"It's fine dollface." Said Stan "Come on kids I think it's about time you got to bed."

"But Grunkle Stan!" Whined the children as Stan led them up the stairs.

"I gotta call Wendy!" Yelled Soos, leaving the room as well and flipping out his phone.

Ford fidgeted, realising you two were alone together.

"Uh Y/N… I was wondering if I could run some tests? Because well apparently you're Bill's weakness and I just wanted to see if-"

"Bill doesn't have any weaknesses." You responded.

"Yes, well that's what I thought too but I found a scroll and I guess, looking at the results I mean, I think it might be you." Ford rambled.

You stared for a moment. He was even cuter when he was flustered. You didn't believe him of course, why would you be Bill's weakness? But you mind as well play along, it had been so long since you'd had any fun and you were finally back in the real world.

"Sure Ford. Whatever you need." You smiled at him, extending your hand. He paused for a moment before reaching out to lead you to his lab. You looked down and gasped.

"You have six-fingers!" You exclaimed.

Ford blushed.

"Ah yes well… birth defect and all… if it freaks you out I can wear gloves or something-"

"It's amazing!" You said, bringing his hand closer to examine, marvelling at his extra finger.

Ford blushed even more.

You bit your lip. Imagine what an extra finger could do.

Ford cleared his throat.

"Uh… should we go then?"

You blinked and lowered his hand.

"Lead the way."

He guided you to a vending machine in what you assumed to be some kind of merchandise shop. You looked around intrigued.

"My brothers store. Pay no mind to it." Said Ford.

You examined a creature that seemed like a chicken and fish glued together.

"I do not believe this is a real animal." You declared.

"I believe you are correct." Said Ford with a laugh before opening up a vending machine like door. You examined it curiously before following Ford down into an elevator.

He let go of your hand and you found you missed his warmth.

He brushed his hand up the back of his head and ruffled his hair. Your felt your stomach flip and you were sure it was from the elevator dropping and not the mysterious man that had fished you out of another realm.

"You know… I understand what you're going through." Ford said suddenly.

"Oh?" You replied, raising an eyebrow.

"I was trapped in another dimension as well, I actually only got back quite recently." He said looking nervously at you.

"I understand what it's like to be alone." He continued.

You looked down and sighed.

"Honestly, it was a relief when I was alone. When Bill let me be. I guess that's because everyone in his mad court that could count for company was literally a monster." You laughed, but in a sad way. You saw Ford's lip tighten and before you knew what was happening he pulled you into a hug.

You felt his well-built form pushing into you, hidden beneath his clothes. You assumed he'd gotten his muscles from his time in another world. You knew what it took to survive out there, the strength needed. He was warm and you found yourself melting into his touch.

Suddenly he parted from your figure and you made a quiet noise of discontent.

"I- um I well I'm sorry that was highly inappropriate and I-"

"Hush Ford, it was nice. Thank-you." You said, meaning the words.

The elevator doors opened to reveal a strange room filled with paintings, symbols and a large machine at the back.

"Oh right, yes. The tests." Said Ford before stepping into the room.

You pushed your hair behind your ear and followed him.


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you for reading and I am still active on Archive of our own.

The fic is called "How to Conjure a Girlfriend with Stanford Pines" over there and here is the link, spaced out because this site keeps deleting it:

archive of our own /works/16280102/chapters/38072540

Comments and feedback mean so much to me, love you all, let's keep this show alive :)


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